Rachey’s Ramblings

I have 7 selves. We rarely agree.

The best laid plans

March 9th, 2010

Never count on anything involving technology.

My week started somewhat enthusiastically yesterday, with a spurt of last-minute reading and 2,500 words of drivvle genius (I’m thinking positve/delusional). Eureka emoticon But then I went and ruined it by sinking into my usual Monday night grump, which actually turned into more of a oh-my-God-I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing-with-my-nearly-30-years-of-life crisis. Scared emoticon I have a feeling that there may be a few more of these little ‘asides’ between now and October. I can’t even call it a quarter-life crisis anymore. Depressing. Glum emoticon But before (crying myself) to sleep, self-pity and tissues on standby, I told myself that today wasn’t going to be a miserable day. And I was determined to snap out of it this morning with a surge of productivity and brilliance. Yippee emoticon Right up until the point where I realised my laptop was screwed so I wouldn’t be able to work from home. And that walking to work was going to be agony thanks to my running injury from Sunday’s little snippet of over-ambition. And that I didn’t actually have any ideas to be productive and brilliant with. Doh emoticon So I hobbled to work muttering to myselves, battled with my stupidity for 6 hours straight, managed to put together something that may resemble coherence in the right light and am praying that my supervisors are in a good/hallucinatory mood for our meeting tomorrow. Pray emoticon As for the oh-my-God-I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing-with-my-nearly-30-years-of-life crisis, that is still ongoing. Stuck emoticon Although I’m trying to hide it and concentrate on the you’re-only-as-old-as-the-man-you’re-feeling mantra instead. Wink emoticon That should be good for knocking a few years off eh?! So to speak…

Current Mood: Confused Mood Icon

Unlike me

March 7th, 2010

Something strange happened today: I was productive. Super productive. Disbelief emoticon I read all of the journal articles I had brought home for the weekend. As opposed to them just getting to see my bedroom from the inside of my bag. Inspired emoticon And I think something clicked at some point and at least a couple of my selves know what we’re doing. Maybe. Pray emoticon I then went and ran. 14.5 miles. Jog emoticonSustained a few injuries. Because I’m a clumsy cow and went arse over tit on an invisible obstacle. But I like to think that just officially makes me a hardcore runner. Right?! Trip emoticon Then, having arrived back home and keeping my movements of the evening to an absolute minimum due to the fact that it hurts to walk and sit down and stand up and breathe, I put my time to good dull use by getting on top of some marking. Yeas. I officially have no life. Bored fairy emoticon But at least I can tell my parents what a good girl I’m being eh?! Angel emoticon

Current Mood: Angelic Mood Icon

Definitely a student

March 6th, 2010

I am stresssssssssssed. Frazzled emoticon This PhD thing is a bit hardcore. I am supposed to be designing my pilot study. Developing materials. Reading, reading, reading. Boffin emoticonBut, unfortunately, coming up with a design for the study depends on understanding the reading which I have a complete inability to do. Dunce emoticon I actually had to talk myselves (all 7 of them) down from hyperventilating over this fact earlier. Stresssssss. Head bang emoticon In true student form though, I was out getting drunk last night. On the vodka mind, rather than the sambucca. I’m a classy PhD student now dontcha know. Drunk emoticon I know I should have spent the night at home studying. But who does that on a Friday night?! And I had a hot date didn’t I? Could hardly say no to that. Awed emoticon We’ll see how the work (interspersed with a 15 mile run, apparently) goes tomorrow anyway. And it may be that the local shop soon runs out of its supplies of ProPlus and RedBull… Sleepy emoticon

Current Mood: Dumb Mood Icon

Laughing at myselfves

March 4th, 2010

You know you are addicted to caffeine when Neurofen does little to get rid of a headache but coffee does.

Yes. 400 mg of Ibuprofen would not shift my headache today but, 2 sips of coffee later and it was gone. Slightly addicted. Caffeine emoticon But having got rid of said headache, I decided to have a laugh at myself about the melodramatic mood I’ve been in this week. When you have 7 selves, there is a lot to laugh at. Laugh emoticon And we have all been taking life far too seriously of late. When we should have been concentrating on the fun bits. Which are delightfully fun. Smooch emoticonSo today we decided not to stress so bloomin’ much. A weight lifted. We all smiled. Fly emoticonAnd had the most productive day in a loooooooooong time. Thumbsup emoticon Got lots of reading done. Even understood allsome of it. Came home and ran 7.something miles. Then made a rocking chilli, even if I do say so myself. Golden girl emoticon The coffee, it seems, did the job…Buzz emoticon

Current Mood: Accomplished Mood Icon

Regression to the mean

March 2nd, 2010

If something starts out great, it’s probably going to go downhill.

There. That’s optimism for you. Whoop emoticon But, really. I ran a half marathon the other week, no problems. Wrote a 5000 word essay that my supervisors complemented. Removed from my brain all the crap that has weighed me down in the past, and was smiling all the time. Smiley emoticon Most of the weekend was wonderful, with a visit from daddy (who came bearing a ridiculous amount of gifts in the form of Jayne’s famous shortbread & petit fours-Words cannot describe Hungry emoticon ) and a family (plus Maria) trip out to Sunderland dogs. Where I actually won for once. Bonus. Clap emoticon But then came Sunday. I was meant to run 14 miles. Only made 8. Bloody cough. So that put me in a bit of a mood. Which was rectified in part by drinks down the pub with daddy and in big part by a certain somebody being adorable to me when I got back home. Snog emoticon But then came Monday. Glum emoticon Three hours I spent trying to understand a journal article. A 7 page journal article. Which I still don’t get. Dunce emoticon So that stressed me out. And made me feel entirely stupid. Then last night all the mind-crap returned, I slept for a grand total of 3 hours and today the smile is gone. Byebye emoticon However. I am fighting it. There are 7 of us after all. We won’t all be brought down. Healthy emoticon So I’m doing what Rachey does best: Being strong for other people whilst buckling just ever so slightly. A bit like a rock. But a soft one. Something like limestone. Frazzled emoticon With foundations made of chocolate. A lot of those petit four chocolates, to be exact…Blob emoticon

Current Mood: Cuckoo Mood Icon

Teaching and learning

February 26th, 2010

Being an ‘academic’ is hard bloomin’ work.

This week hasn’t been a very good one. Glum emoticon I’ve been buried in marking. ‘Taught’ a class of undergrads who clearly hated my incompetence at trying to explain to them how to use Excel to do data analysis. Which I don’t actually know how to do myself. Headbang emoticon And haven’t found a minute to do any reading for my PhD. Supervisory meeting is in 10 days where I shall be presenting another essay and the details of my pilot study. Interested to know how that’s gonna happen. Dunce emoticon Many people have told me that a PhD is all about highs and lows, peaks and troughs. I just wasn’t expecting the sinking-feeling bits to come so early on. Uncertain emoticon Still. Other parts of my life are good. I’m still delighted to be living in Newcastle. Novelty of that hasn’t worn off yet. Twirl emoticon Daddy is coming to visit this weekend. Which always makes me smile. And one specific part of my life is really good. Blush emoticon I was a bit lot worried earlier this week that it wasn’t gonna get to be good. And I hadn’t realised until I thought it wasn’t going to be good just how good it actually is. But now all is good. Really,really, really good. Awed emoticon So good that I might actually be motivated to do something productive on my PhD today. Who would have thought it eh?! Inspired emoticon

Current Mood: Giddy Mood Icon

No place like it

February 21st, 2010

This is the 3rd delightful weekend I’ve had in a row. Ecstatic emoticon This time largely thanks to Wonky + husband, who chauffered me to Tesco, chauffered me back home, chauffered me over to their place and then cooked me a delicious roast dinner and wouldn’t allow me to lift a finger. Fatemoticon Love living this close to my sister. She’s the best. Hug emoticon And as I was so spoilt this weekend, I thought I didn’t really have any excuse not to come back home this afternoon and go running. Clever me. Some advice to others: If you’ve had a shitty cough all week, don’t go and run 7 miles in the rain/hail/snow (all of the above apply). Poorly emoticon Still, I should have a night of cuddles with my boyfriend ahead of me to cheer me up. Oh look. Just typing that has done the job already…Snuggle emoticon

Current Mood: Poorly Mood Icon

Emotional

February 20th, 2010

I just watched this video for the disaster in Haiti:

I’d heard the song but hadn’t paid much attention to the video before. I sobbed. Blub emoticon We are so, so, so fortunate to have what we have. I might try moaning a bit lot less… Gag emoticon
Current Mood: Tearful Mood Icon

Mark-ing

February 20th, 2010

It’s not a very good idea to save a week of work until Friday.

All day today I have been marking. And marking. And marking. Bored fairy emoticon It’s my own fault for spending my week doing more day-dreaming than work. Ironically, about a certain someone called Mark. Who happens to be my housemate. My very sexy, very adorable, very 25-year-old housemate.Blush emoticon Who is also, as of yesterday, my new victim boyfriend. Kiss emoticon It’s early days though and because he reads my blog (when he has nothing better to do), I’m not gonna spout slushy stuff. For now. Give a girl time. Giggle emoticon But I will just say I’m finding it hard, despite shedloads of work and a shitty cough and being behind with my running, to stop smiling lately. Swoon emoticon He kinda ticks every box on most of my selves’ ‘what-we-want-in-a-man’ lists (Tiffany rings aside. Obviously.). And that is no mean feat. Bow emoticon I think, when my sister chose this house for me to live in, she did good. Really bloody good…Twirl emoticon

Current Mood: Smitten Mood Icon

Time management

February 18th, 2010

When studying for a PhD, one may need to work beyond office hours.

This hideous fact has occured to me this week and I’m not sure I like it. Boo emoticon Because, for once, my out-of-office hours are filled with good things. Really, really good things. Awed emoticon And what with my head being somewhat totally elsewhere lately, I feel like I’m sinking a bit on the work front. Bogged down is an understatement. Drown emoticon I need to get a grip. So I’m sacking today off, allowing myself one final day of ditziness and indulgence and then tomorrow the studious self is gonna have to take control. Boffin emoticon Before the slushy self takes over completely…Cloud 9 emoticon

Current Mood:Ditsy Mood Icon